Archive for r&b

Livin’ For The City: An Open Letter To Those Who Ignore Our Heroes

Posted in black culture, black people, Music with tags , , , on May 21, 2012 by theninjaparade

I watched the awards show last night and a little piece of me died.  What is it going to take?

Every year another music heavy weight passes away and we profess our love on social media.  We post youtube videos of their classics.  We defend them as the “greatest _____ of all time”.

We ride or die for our legends, but only posthumously.

I say we choose life!

Today I’m taking a stand.  I am issuing a full-on threat to whomever lets THE Stevie Wonder walk out the house with his head looking a damn fool.

Don’t you not remember the feeling the first time you went to a birthday party and they DIDN’T sing the Stevie version of Happy Birthday? #awkward

Or how your sister cried as she danced her first dance at the wedding to My Cherie Amour?

Or maybe you forgot how your Goddaughter did an interpretive dance in her first pageant to Ribbon in the Sky?

Shit…half of ya’ll really thought President Obama was Signed, Sealed, Delivered!

Nope. You didn’t.  You ain’t forgot, because I ain’t forget. Stevie got more hits than hair on his head and we still turning a blind eye.

But you selfish bastards keep letting our heroes go over the edge.  I bet you would have gave an overweight crooner a Whopper, or edged up a line of coke for an already coked out vocalist?  Wouldn’t you?  You ain’t shyt.

And please miss me with that “he’s a grown man and can wear his hair however he blah blah blah…”

STEVIE. BEEN. BLIND!  He don’t know what the hell he supposed to look like, it’s up to us and we let him down.  No, YOU let him down.

When I see you. It’s on.

Personally Signed.

~El Jugo


4 Awesome Things That Got F#*ked Up By Cocaine

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , on June 9, 2011 by theninjaparade


I mean, at my age (30) I don’t even know what the world looks like without Crack…let alone cocaine.  However, as I look back on the things that are enduring from my life, I can’t help but silently weep at the amount of awesome shyt we’ve lost to cocaine.

I mean, you would think by the mid-80’s, and the whole David Ruffin fcuking up The Temptations debacle, that we would have learned our lesson.  Nope.  We still tooted that “girl” up our collective noses and ruined some pretty awesome shyt.

Here are 4 Truly Awesome Things that Cocaine Fcuked Up:

1.) In The Heat of The Mutha-Fcukin Night.  DAMN!  Not even the streets of Sparta, Mississippi are safe.  Which makes sense, because they DID have several violent crime, action packed, felonious seasons with only like 5 cops.  Who know small southern Mayberry-ish towns had so many social ills…or cocaine?? Dude and his flagrant prowess for power messed up one of the best low budget TV series of all times.  Top-Cop Detective Virgil Tibbs, the blue-black ninja pictured, definately believed in de-segregation because he kept plenty of white in his system.


2) Jodeci.  For this one alone I’m offering up a serve on site notice of K-Ci ol stupid ass.  How, on God’s green earth, do you ruin arguably the best R&B Group of the last 20 years??  Cocaine, that’s HOW.  Cocaine has broken up some of the greatest singing groups in all of blackness…damn shame these dudes had to be statistics.  <<insert Jodeci “Feenin” and sad irony>>.


3.) Any Given Sunday.  What do you get when you mix underage heaux, Dancing With The Stars, a Hall of Fame NFL Career and tons…upon tons…of blow?  Lawrence “LT” Taylor.  Ol LT is a testament to just how forgiving the American media is.  Time after time he has been given a pass for outlandish coke-ed-ness…each time we welcomed his yellow-headlighted-eyes back into our hearts and homes.  Famo went from sacking quarterbacks to buying quarter-sacks.  Damn homie.


4.) DMX. *smh* This nigga just look like he one that mess.  For real, did we not see this coming?  I mean the barking, the pitbulls, the erratic behavior all SCREAM at least a really bad weed habit, if not full blown coke head.  We know from the Bobby Brown Saga that celebs, especially of the ghetto variety, cannot handle the pressures of stardom with out the soothing anti-climatic high of cocaine and copious amounts of marijuana.  So it’s acceptable that dude squandered a fortune on dope and parole violations right? Right? Dah welp.  I’ll just wait for that Ruff Riderz reunion mixtape featuring X rapping about court ordered rehab and his relaitonship with his PO…oh yeah, and Jesus.

“…cocaine is a hell of a drug” ~ Rick James

~El Jugo

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