The “EDGE”: Situational Thug Tendencies

Welp, it became obvious after The “Keep-A-B1tch” Baby blog that there were some who were a bit confused about something.  Here at The Ninja Parade we fashion ourselves as a fount of wisdom, diligently striving for clarity in the cloudy blogoshphere.

Sooooo, let’s make some shit perfectly clear…Situational Thug Tendencies (STT) exist on even the highest levels of society and most of ya’ll (and by ya’ll, I mean women) luh this shit.  We didn’t just make this up…nope, couldn’t have.

Definition:  Situational Thug Tendencies~ one’s natural, or manufactured, bravado that seeks to abandon civil discourse temporarily, for the sake of doing some ratchet hood-nigga shit. [ex: “Wait…did dude who runs the non-profit REALLY just do the Folks/GD <or, insert local gang handshake> with my dad?”]

You see, it really is shit like that that turns these heaux on.  Yup, I said it.  These heaux secretly (or not so much) love a guy with an edge.  However, too many times that edge is really just some STT dressed up in a pinpoint oxford, and Kenneth Cole loafers.

To better served you, we’ve complied a brief guide to help you better identify STT in the ones you love.

1. Situational Violence.  Save your criticism and high-road commentary…most of ya’ll heaux love niggas that will pop on a another nigga for something relatively trivial.  And the more trivial the violation that leads to violence, the more STT avails itself to be seen.  No, you may not want fam to get wasted and pick a fight in the parking lot of Outback Steak House…but I KNOW that it makes a woman feel some kind of way when she knows I will kick a grown homeless man in the balls for being too aggressive in his panhandling for change.  And she may have a full blown orgasm is Mr. Certified Public Accountant swings on a full-time thug after an exchange over why yelling “AYE RED!” to CPA’s thick lightskinded lady-friend is not acceptable.

2. Situational Versatility. There’s something to be said about a person who is comfortable in his own skin, regardless of the situation. Situational Versatility is for the Hood Chick (READ: not, Hoodrat) who is dating up but still wants to stay true to her ghetto sensibilities.   You see, just because you’ve moved up out the hood, have a fresh lil townhouse, a small dog, regularly maintained sew-ins, and take trips to Miami with your girls…doesn’t make you entirely divorced from yo hood ass families and/or kids.  It is really debatable whether or not a man can “flip it” and go from sophisticated to hood in an instant.  What isn’t debatable is that a nigga that quote scripture, roll blunts, help lil man with his homework, owns a questionably registered firearm and can effectively not get roasted by yo ignant ass cousins for being a lame at the family gatherings is #winning.

3. Situational Sexy-Talk.  Again, sit yo ass <points to corner> all the way over there if you don’t like this shit babygirl.  THIS. RIGHT HERE…is how babies are made.  Dear Ms. Waiting To Exhale With Mr. Established:  we see you…and if they don’t, El Jugo does.  Everything about your exterior SCREAMS *Tresvant voice* “I want a man with sensativity!”. Love, El Jugo.  But I know something. I know that underneath your neatly folded bra/pantie collection, Coach wristlets, sensible heels…you want your eloquently polished love to talk to you like you’re fresh off a rap video shoot, lowkey still sweating from the lights, half-naked and gone off moscato about to get your WHOLE back blown out in the trailer.  Cool.  Even if your man doesn’t have a single solitary ounce of thug in his heart…if he can pull off some gangta-shyt in the bedroom, he’s already won and so have you.

Go from me and be blessed,

The Infamous El Jugo

If you like this blog, you’ll LOVE this one. <—-Click here.

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3 Responses to “The “EDGE”: Situational Thug Tendencies”

  1. […] The Ninja Parade « The “EDGE”: Situational Thug Tendencies […]

  2. And I 10000000000000000000000000% agree with ALL of this, and yes, I do want that good ol fashioned corporate thug!

  3. […] you liked this blog, you’ll love this one  <~~~~~~ Like this:LikeBe the first to like […]

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