An Open Dialogue About “Keep-A-B!tch” Babies

Lurking under the surface of the black community, hidden beneath back-issue stacks of Source Magazines in barbershops, wrapped in White Owl White Grapes, and saved discretely on XBOX Memory cards is a dirty little secret that many black men hold. *looks around from side-to-side* So damaging the truth that Ol El Jugo fears for my very safety.

You see, what ya’ll didn’t know (often until years later) is that there are many men who have cleverly laid a trap.  This trap, blessed as it may be, started with the most selfish of notions and eloquently communicated in just 5 simple words…”This bish ain’t goin’ nowhere”.

Yes, that’s it.  The “Keep-A-Bish” baby.

It’s a known fact here at the Ninja Parade and elsewhere that women will attempt to “trap” men with a baby in order to secure tangibles and intangibles.  What is lesser know is *wait on it* …niggas do the same shyt.

Yep, niggas are out here literally getting chicks pregnant to keep them.

“How?”, you ask.  It’s really quite simple.  In our incessant human need for companionship, some men tend to lose something in the details…they aren’t equipped for, qualified to, or tangibly able to sustain a relationship with a woman on their own.  So, these men in question resort to trickery (also known as fuckery in some circles).

It goes like this:  boy meets girl.  girl likes boy.  boy recognizes inadequacy in self (or situation). boy says “let me just put the head in” to girl.  girl obliges.  girl misses period.  boy puts up token sincerity. boy has effectively bought himself 9-months to 18-years of semi-security with girl.

*smh*

Now that we know the “how”, let’s look at the WHY THO?

1- The Quest to be ‘THE” Babydaddy. As stupid as this is going to sound, upon doing research, I’ve found this to be true…some niggas will not rest until they are some woman’s (or several women’s) 1st Child’s Father.  I know, crazy right?  But it’s true.  Even crazier is this dude usually is the 2nd, or 3rd string babydaddy somewhere else.  Coming into a situation where your baby is #2 (or more) AND trying to “work it out” with your babymama has GOT TO BE infinitely harder than just getting some unassuming single chick with no kids pregnant, right?

2. Monetary Gain.  *sigh* Dear Ms. Independent:  please understand that your independent, good job working, good benefits possessing, health care savings account card swiping,  Remy Saga wearing ass is a financial come-up for a LOT of niggas.  Especially in a recession. Govern yourselves accordingly.  Love, El Jugo.   Here’s where ya’ll get got.  Ya’ll want that nigga with an “edge”.  You see,  “Keep-A-B1tch” babies aren’t just relegated to the lower rungs of the hood…and some random dude scamming on a food stamp card.  Nope.  You, your natural hair journey, and your book club can get it too.  Why?  Because you’re attracted to a guy with an “edge”.  Sure, you’re too smart to blatantly love a thug, but you want a man with STT (situational thug tendencies) who is motivated, goal oriented, blah blah blah.  Nothing wrong with this, just understand that said tendencies often come with side effects.  He NEEDS you go come up.  And will blow your WHOLE back out and lay on your couch and quantify how much money he’s saving you in child care to get to his destiny.

3. She FINE.  Fcuk it…some niggas can be real petty.  So much so that he can look at your delicately draped coifs, pretty brown eyes, seamless MAC  cosmetic skin, slim waist (and corresponding ass-to-waist ratio) and think nothing more than having you barefoot and pregnant so the next man can’t have you.  Like I said, petty.  Instead of trying to see if this can be “forever” he opts for the crudest way to keep you on ice (usually while he explores his options)…he get’s this bad chick pregnant.  Note:  if he can pull one bad chick, he can certainly pull another.  *smh*  Problem is…super-bad chicks are usually the most gullible; and don’t let dude have a lil loot…shiiiiiiiiid. Some of ya’ll reading this right now shaking your damn head.

You’re Welcome.

The Infamous El Jugo

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8 Responses to “An Open Dialogue About “Keep-A-B!tch” Babies”

  1. Bring your own condoms ladies. Better to be safe than pregnant by an idiot.

  2. That’s pretty damn deep. Thanks for the insight!

  3. Mrs. Nelson Says:

    Wow! More women should read this so they aren’t the next victims, PERIOD! Especially the ones so intent on finding a man instead of God giving them the one he wants them to have. Good on DP!

  4. Dude… I think I got “got”! Hoodwinked… bamboozled… led astray

  5. This is serious. TROJAN BRAND!! Carry your own protection, ladies. I know I do.

  6. […] The Ninja Parade « An Open Dialogue About “Keep-A-B!tch” Babies […]

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